Dear 42 year old Ben,
The man who built this business is not the man who should be running it now.
You just haven't realised that yet.
You became the man who never stops. And for a long time that was exactly what was required.
But the business you have now doesn't need a man who never stops. It needs a man who knows when to.
It doesn't need you taking your phone to the bathroom to stay ahead.
It doesn't need you filling every gap to be productive.
Because the gap you're filling isn't in your productivity. It's in your thinking. And you can't think clearly from inside a mind that never stops.
And a mind that never stops makes decisions on autopilot.
The same decisions. The same way. From the same man you were when you started - before the team, before the revenue, before the responsibilities that keep you up at 3am.
The business grew. But you didn't.
And nobody tells you that. Because from the outside you look exactly like a man who has it together.
But you know the version of you that shows up when the pressure is on.
The stressed, overwhelmed Ben who keeps snapping at the kids and regretting it.
He’s making decisions that keep you stuck and it’s happening more than you realise.
You tell yourself it’s just a season, but it’s been like this for years.
In 1,387 days you will be diagnosed with cancer.
And when it arrives you don't fall apart.
You just get quiet. For the first time in years.
And in that quiet you see it clearly.
The last few years weren't as memorable as you thought they'd be.
Not much fun. Not much adventure.
Always in your head. Always solving. Always on.
And you realise you hadn't been living your life. You'd just been managing it.
Here's what nobody’s telling you right now.
The life you actually want isn't on the other side of a better team.
It's not on the other side of the next revenue milestone.
It's not on the other side of finally getting the business to run without you.
It's on the other side of becoming a different man.
Because the business will always reflect the man running it.
Change the man - everything changes.
I know because I did it.
And in 1,387 days you’ll see it too.
But you don’t have to wait that long.
Your older and wiser self,
Ben